


Silent Gestures

by Supervium



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Language, Panic Attacks, Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:36:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7416265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supervium/pseuds/Supervium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minseok didn’t know at what point his consoling had morphed into wanting to hold, kiss, and protect Luhan forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silent Gestures

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains mentions of anxiety and descriptions of panic attacks as well as mild language use.

It happens every so often, these moments.

Minseok sitting cross-legged on the ground in front of the closet—the most frequent of places Luhan hides—carefully trying to keep his voice smooth even if he’s worried. Usually, Minseok would have some sort of clue what triggered Luhan but this time he had walked into their shared apartment to all the lights turned off and his cat meowing and pawing at Luhan’s door.

He doesn’t know how long Luhan has been here either, any attempt at questions that require more than a word or two go unanswered. Luhan becomes [nonverbal](http://supervium.tumblr.com/post/147025264667/partner-has-gone-nonverbal-what-do-i-do-info#notes) when his stress or emotional levels are high and since Minseok’s whispered question of, “Can I turn the lights on?” had been answered with a stuttered and clipped _No_ there was no use getting a pen and paper.

So he sits in the dark and waits. Waits until either Luhan is able to find his words again or a hand slowly intertwines with his own, silent but allowing comfort.

It’s always the latter that comes first. Minseok can hear the soft movements of his boyfriend’s hand over the carpet, searching and finding Minseok’s knee where it grips the fabric of the elder’s sweatpants tightly. Fitting his hand over Luhan’s and rubbing a soothing thumb into the soft flesh, Minseok asks, “Am I allowed to touch you?”

Never before meeting Luhan has Minseok realized how special this question was, how _important._ The question is a gate and the answer is a lock, if the answer is “no” then the lock disappears all together and there isn’t a way to even unlock the gate but if the answer is “yes” suddenly Minseok has the key. It’s important to let Luhan make the decision, let him provide the lock only if he wants Minseok to have the key, because Minseok would never— _could never—_ force the gate.

A choked, pent up breath leaves Luhan’s throat and he stumbles over a “Yes,” spoken in Mandarin. Minseok doesn’t rush things, gently moves forward and then pulls the younger the rest of the way into his lap, immediately wrapping his arms around the shaking blond. In turn, he feels Luhan’s legs wrap fully around his waist, clinging, and a face trying to burrow itself into his neck.

Fresh tears and little hiccups stab at Minseok’s heart and he just holds Luhan tighter, stroking a hand down his back in hopes it’ll help.

The first few times Minseok had witnessed Luhan breaking, he remained impartial, still awkward because he knew nothing about the pretty, homeless guest he had let into his apartment besides he had flighty eyes and stuttered his words. He had left Luhan alone too, thinking that it was the best thing for him because everyone goes through shit and when Minseok himself does, he likes to work it out alone.

It was the fourth time that struck Minseok hard. He had been woken up by loud sobbing coming from the kitchen and found Luhan frantically picking up broken pieces of Minseok’s favorite mug with weeping eyes and bloodied fingers. It took seven minutes to convince Luhan to stop picking up the broken glass and another three to calm him down enough to apply ointment and bandages, the whole while with Luhan flinching like he was afraid Minseok was going to lash out.

Wiping away the younger’s tears gently and repeating, _I’m not angry, it’s alright. I promise._ at least a dozen times before Luhan settled down completely. The next morning when Minseok had gotten up to get a cup of coffee, five new mugs were sitting in the cabinet, adhesive still sticky from where price stickers had been ripped off and a small “I’m sorry,” note sitting in the bottom of each.

After that Minseok knew they had to talk about it. In all honesty, he _didn’t_ care about the mug but he was starting to worry. But the blond didn’t really want to talk, eyes quickly growing misty when Minseok had even _attempted_ to broach the subject. The only thing he said—whispered—was another apology, a thank you for all Minseok’s help, and an offer to leave if he was causing Minseok too much trouble.

But Luhan _wasn’t_ too much trouble, Minseok just wanted—needed—to know how to help, what to do so Luhan didn’t have to suffer alone anymore.

Minseok didn’t know at what point his consoling had morphed into wanting to hold, kiss, and protect Luhan forever. Maybe it was when Luhan had sobbed and apologized for sobbing the very first time Minseok held him, or maybe it was when Luhan had tried to run away in the middle of the night because he didn’t want to burden Minseok anymore, or maybe it was the way Luhan smiled like his jaw was going to detach itself or laugh so ridiculously that Minseok himself couldn’t help laughing too. Or maybe it was just because Luhan was Luhan. Beautiful, perfect Luhan who could kick Minseok’s ass in football every time they played but would buy coffee after to make up for it, even if he teases the entire time.

Because Luhan _is_ beautiful and perfect, no matter his faults or flaws or how broken he thinks he is.

So Minseok holds him in the darkness, petting his back and planting small kisses to the top of his head, silently willing whatever plagues Luhan to vanish.

It does eventually. Luhan’s tears stop and his breathing evens, heaving a big sigh and loosening his grip on Minseok’s sweatshirt. The latter pulls back and with just enough light from the streetlamp outside he can make out the puffy eyes searching his face. Luhan opens his mouth but before he had the chance to get out the apology Minseok knows is coming, Minseok seals his lips over Luhan’s.

He doesn’t stop either, when Luhan pushes him away to breathe, Minseok just continues planting small kisses all over the blond’s face, making it a mission to kiss away all the panic.

Minseok deems the mission a success when he strains so far they tip over and land on their sides, Luhan releasing a weak giggle.

They cuddle together on the floor, Luhan nuzzling into Minseok’s chest and the older playing idly with Luhan’s hair. Minseok guesses half an hour passes before he shakes Luhan gently from his dozing state.

“Do you want to sleep on the floor?”

Luhan scoffs drowsily and a small smile makes its way onto his face, “No thanks, your cat will probably try to suffocate me in my sleep.”

“She would not,” Minseok chuckles, helping Luhan up and half carrying him to the bed, “she loves you.”

“Sure.”

Under the blankets their legs tangle together and Luhan winds up with his head under Minseok’s chin again, curling into his chest.

“What was it about this time Lu?” Minseok asks gently after a few minutes, pulling Luhan tighter against his body.

“I… failed a test I took last week.”

“I’m sorry. You could always ask your professor for a redo?”

A pause, “Will you help me?”

Minseok can’t stop himself from pressing his lips to Luhan’s forehead, “Of course.”

A deep breath and he can feel Luhan’s smile against his throat.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> -Hello, I've been away for awhile  
> -Being an Adult™ is hard  
> -I hope you at least enjoyed this a bit :)  
> -You all are perfect exactly the way you are, sometimes you just need a little love to see it  
> -(If you do not have love, some will be provided for you. By me.)  
> c:  
> Kudos and comments always welcome and greatly appreciated!


End file.
